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I don't understand how it got to this. . . ?
I'm starting to believe he was unhappy with 'us' for a while and he used this as something to finish it. I don't believe he's giving me another chance despite begging. I have done all I can do, said everything I can say, spilled my heart to him, and he isn't responding. . . what's going on?
I'm stuck.
This doesn't make sense.
I don't see how it could change so drastically from one day to the other. End it, just like that?

Despite all of this, I want him to be happy. Whether it is with or without me, and apparently it's 'without me'. It will hurt like hell for a long while but at one point, I will be ok. I need girl advice?

Aside from hearing rumors that he's already seeing other girls. . . he called last night, drunk. He only calls when he's drunk. Tells me he loves me, that he wants to be with me but is afraid that I will hurt him again. He called me "Victoria", twice. It felt like someone punched me in the stomach. I didn't know what to say, he won't recall it tomorrow though though, he was drunk remember? I can't wait till the next time he gets drunk that way he'll call me, at least I get to hear that he's ok.
I love him. More than I ever expected and it completely caught me off guard.

And now that it's gone, I want it more than ever.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
nabdalah
Nov. 29th, 2007 01:45 am (UTC)
alrighty. girly, here's my shoulder (cyber-shoulder) so come and cry on it. come on, you know you want to :) just pretend i'm making you cookies and you're sitting at the kitchen table. My ears and heart are open and if you're into it i'll make some maizena :D
nabdalah
Nov. 29th, 2007 01:49 am (UTC)
oh and uh word around the barrio is that i acquired a vagina. just thought i'd let you know.
toiletstand
Nov. 29th, 2007 04:24 am (UTC)
=[
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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