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Jul. 27th, 2009

I have cottage cheese in my hair. HAD, now it's just hard.

I dedicated 40 minutes of my life yesterday to picking out the split ends in my hair. I was bored and had nothing better to do. It seems that all I do whenever I'm not with Joey is think about him. . . think about something that I can color for him. . .make him the most random shit in the world. . .or talk about him. And I catch myself too, talking about him all of the time when he's not around. I think to myself as I'm talking about him, if people are fed up with hearing me say hi name? But what can I say? He's cool. Cooler than I ever will be. He makes me happy. We got into an argument a couple of day back over this, actually. I just felt like I gave and gave and gave and gave and wasn't getting the same feedback. This has happened to me in every single relationship though, so I know it probably had nothing to do with him.
It's me.

He feels that it's not fair that whenever I drink I decide to splurt out every single thing that he does that bothers me. He's right :/. So from now on, if something is bothering me, I'm just going to write it on here. That way if he wants to read it, it won't come as a surprise when I finally do address it to him. I'm not a confrontational person, so I avoid arguing by all means. If something bothers me, I'll usually keep it to myself and tell myself in my head, "This is stupid. . . there's no reason for you to be upset over this",and I just push it to the back of my mind. It all surges back when I drink I guess. . . which isn't good.
I need to accept that not everyone is a mushy,sap like me. I need to stop expecting that from people. He loves me, he just doesn't express it the way I do so I won't take that to heart.

I'm learning a song for him on my sister's guitar. And EeeEeeEEEE!! I'm so excited >.<

I really want to buy a hedgehog this Friday. . .but I'm debating between buying it or buying him his ticket to the 49ers game in September. He wants the ticket much more than I want the hedgehog so I really have to think about it.

Hedgehog. . . football. . . hedgehog. . . football. . .

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